5 Reasons why having a Hysterectomy was a Good Thing

Champagne

Early this summer I had to go in for urgent surgery, a hysterectomy. Here is why it was the best thing for me.

Family History

For once, my family history made me a priority when my periods became erratic. I have suffered from endometriosis since I was a teen. It slowed down during my two pregnancies. Last Christmas it picked up speed painfully. It got to the point I wasn’t able to leave the house or be a present mom.

What They Found

After waiting for the best OBGYN in town for months, she sent me for test. Thankfully, I got in quickly. At that time, several fibroid tumors and one polyp was found in my uterus. Surgery was scheduled 5 weeks from the original testing date. There was no time to waste. A partial hysterectomy was scheduled quickly. (Uterus and tubes removed, ovaries were clear.)  My body took a turn for the worst fast.

Baby Factory Closed

Due to the endometriosis, I never expected to be pregnant once, let alone twice. Three doctors told me I could not conceive naturally. After meeting my girls and seeing my youngest go through her challenges with autism, my baby factory is closed. I am at peace with that. If I ever feel a baby urge, I can visit one of my friends’ newborns.

NO.MORE.PERIODS

No more late-night grocery store trips when I run out of pads. No more impossible-to-handle cramps when my girls need me. No more forgetting to stock my purse every week in case I am out when ‘Aunt Flo’ arrived.

I am here!

Because of my high-cancer risk due to a genetic disorder I have for ovarian and endometrial cancer, having the surgery reduced my risk dramatically. I am older than my mom lived. History has not repeated itself. I won’t let it. Apparently my body agrees.

I turn 40 on October 10th this year. I cannot think of a better birthday gift than being alive for my family and me.

How to Nurture a Love for Reading

boy reading book at the library

 

Need to figure out how to nurture a love of reading for your kids? There are many ways to do that, especially through the early school days:

  1. Doesn’t matter what they read, comics, novels, and magazines. All that matters is they are reading.
  2. Have your kids help write the shopping lists. By practicing writing it helps to promote reading.
  3. Take turns reading during family time, just one page per person. Ask the older kids to read to the younger kids.
  4. Play games that are reading related like: Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly and Minecraft.
  5. Leave lots of reading materials around the house. Joke books count too!
  6. Show by example by reading around the kids.
  7. Enroll in the library summer reading programs. Kids are motivated when there are prizes involved.  Ask at our local library for the adult summer reading programs too.
  8. Limit Screen time during the summer break, but utilize book apps. There are many wonderful apps that can encourage even the reluctant reader.
  9. Find local bookstores to support. Second hand stores might offer a trade-in opportunity for you to reduce and save money by being able to get more books to enjoy.

10. Have fun! School may be out, but a love of reading is for a lifetime.

Hope this list helps. Summer is a time to slow down and enjoy the moment. Reading isn’t something assigned in school. Reading is an addiction that can’t be taught. And it’s surely one that I don’t want to be cured from.

5 things they do not tell you in Prenatal Classes #YMCCommunity

 

IMG_0152I am looking through my girls’ photo books. With every picture I recall snippets of the day each were taken. I see my babies in the various stages of development. I remember the longing for them to grow up so I could understand their needs. The long, long nights of walking with them to lull them to sleep seems ages ago. I read books while I was pregnant to learn what to do. My husband and I attended prenatal classes for our first. All the talks calmed our nerves and filled our brains on what to do. But it really did nothing to prepare us for parenthood. All it did was tell us what contractions were and what to pack for the hospital. It provided nothing about what to do when you bring your baby home. These are 5 things I feel they do not tell you in prenatal classes:

  1. Spoil yourself with downtime while pregnant. Go on a baby moon with your partner: go to the spa, go to the movies on a weekday and most importantly take time for you. It will change drastically when baby comes and you will barely have time to shower.
  2. One thing you may hear is ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’ It is the truth! It is harder when you have more kids. When it is just you and babe-sleep! Forget the housework.
  3. They do not cover in prenatal what happens when breastfeeding does not happen. They go on and on about it, but never give you the materials and resources for when your milk does not come in. Get yourself informed with all options so you know what to do.
  4. When your family asks what can they do? Tell them! Help in meals, housecleaning and watching the baby so you can nap or shower in peace. It will keep you sane.
  5. Enjoy every moment. They grow so fast. Each stage is one to cherish.

I do love now that my girls are no longer babies. I never had the urge to have kids until I met my daughters. Now they are 5&7 years old and keep me wanting to see what they will do next. Enjoy!

Reblog: Thank you #bctf #bcpoli #bced, not really.

Failing Grade on Homework

(There will be grammar mistakes, but I don’t care right now.)

This is a post I wrote earlier this summer. Now, it looks like our kids will still not be in school anytime soon. The public school system in BC is under a hypocritical democracy.Our kids are caught in an ugly custody battle. Inconceivable….

Today would have been the first official day of summer vacation. Only, it wasn’t here in my neck of the woods. Over 2 weeks ago we were given less than 12 hours notice that school is done for the year. That last day was a re-scheduled sports day, thanks to the awesome teachers and school staff that tried to make a bad situation a bit more pleasant.

I have tried to stay neutral and only speak up for the personal amazing staff that my kids have had the pleasure of having over the past few years. But I can’t no longer stay quiet.

My oldest was scheduled long ago to transfer schools. After a long talk, we agreed that it is the best choice for her. When the extremely short notice my oldest kiddo made sure that she stayed close to her current school friends.

However, my youngest is another story. In our ‘hood, the teachers gave us less than 12 hours notice that school was done. No last day in class. No prep for a goodbye. No social story to prepare my kindergartner that she is done with school for the foreseeable future.

On that last emotional pick-up she had no idea why her teacher, her amazing EA and her parents were overcome with tears. She thought she was coming back the next day.

Since then last abrupt goodbye, she hasn’t slept. Nor have I. I can barely work. I had to hide her backpack because she would hand it to me asking for EA. That is an amazing feat for a kid who was given a non-verbal diagnosis over 2 years ago. Her entire school team and home therapists earned the celebration that she loved school so much. No one can find the way to let her say bye.

Thanks to #bctf #bcpoli #bced for making the last 2 weeks a living hell in my house for a kid who loves school. You have all have failed our kids. #autism

 

Writing Places

 

Pad of Paper & Pen Have you ever written in a coffee shop? I am always in awe of writers who can work in this environment. There are loud people there, and don’t even get me started on the kids. Parents talking loudly on cell phones about the kids’ bowel movements while their precious is stealing food from other tables. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for conversations in real life with your friend, coworker, roommate or other folks, but do you realize how much you are disturbing the next JK Rowling? Maybe, that’s okay. You might even end up in a book as the clueless, selfish extrovert who thinks you’re an introvert.  The type who pontificates volunteering snacks for kids school fairs while preaching that pre-packaged foods are the devil and sipping their half-calf, extra hot, light whip, nonfat mocha frappe. The coffee machines are loud enough. Simmer down, breathe and drink that mortgage-payment-sized drink. I can’t write with my family being home. I have a corner that is mine, but it gets invaded all the time by the homemade sound machines…any one of my kids. When I do get the house to myself, I have to try so hard to not rearrange the junk drawer or do dishes before sitting down to write. Every successful writer gives the best advice –write every day, you get rusty if you don’t. And my fingers do get itchy. Now, where did I leave my tea?

Mixed Anniversary: 30 Years Since She Died #YMCCommunity

motherlessmomentsheader.jpgIt may have been 30 years ago, but I can still smell her hospital room. August 15th, 1984, the day my life turned. I was just 10 years old. As I have written about before, being motherless can suck. My kids only know their grandmother through the few pictures and stories that I have about her. Breast cancer took her from us when she was 38 years old. To say I am bitter is putting it mildly. I still have moments when I can’t understand why she died.

I started writing about my pain when my kids were young because I was terrified that I would have the same fate as her, and go too young. My blog header is the last happy picture of us before she got sick for the last time. When I turned 39, it was the hardest birthday of my life. Then, I kept living. I took the gift of today and kept being in the moment. There is a mighty chance that I will get to hug my grandchildren.

Many things will cross my mind today, about her and what happened last summer. It was on this day, August 15th, 2013, that the doctor told me that my blood test was clear. After my hysterectomy last June, it was tortuous waiting to see if I would need chemo or more surgery. I didn’t. I have no doubt that my mom had something to do with that.

With that renewal, I dove into being 40 with a vengeance. As I wrote about that on this space, I stopped wishing and started doing. I couldn’t change my fate, but I can change my future and enjoy my family now.

I will still always and forever be the little girl longing for her mother to get out of her hospital bed. When my girls turn 10, it will be a strange place for me. In my heart and soul, I hope I will treat my kids kindly and not lord over them that they are lucky to have me. Because, I am the lucky one. I was lucky to have mom for as long as I did. One day, hopefully in the far future, we will meet again.

I love you, Mom.

A Mother Is..

Me and Mom Header 2

A mother is unconditional in her love

I learned that with my mother.

A mother is patient

I learned that from my mother

 

A mother is sharing anything she has

I learned that from my mother

A mother is always there to listen

I learned that from my mother

 

A mother is there when I shed a tear

I learned that when my mother was gone.

A mother is in my daughters

I gave that to my mother.

I would give every penny I ever had since you died almost 30 years ago so I could have 5 more minutes with you. I hope you are enjoying your grandchildren wherever you are.

Love you and miss you every hour.

Death to The Summer Bucket List

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Since summer started early for us due to the teachers strike, It has thrown us off our routine. I did plan a few summer camps, and my youngest will still have her therapy throughout the summer.

Our Summer Bucket list filled up fast with a lot of stuff.

  1. Use the free bowling coupons through kidsbowlfree.com.
  2. Plan more camps for my oldest. She thrives on social atmospheres.
  3. Read lots of books.  Stock the shelves of books for all of us to feast on all summer.
  4. Sign up for the Library Reading program. Check in weekly to fill up the passport of all the books we read.
  5. Play dates. Connect with friends from school and who live farther away. Clean house and plan a fun filled day with an awesome menu to serve.
  6. Go to Museums. Just because school is out doesn’t mean the learning needs to stop!
  7. Get workbook from Costco and assign homework Monday to Friday for same reason as #6.
  8. Go on family getaways. Visit family and friends from far away.
  9. Balance work with quality time with the kids. They are only young once.
  10. Sign up kids for swimming lessons. It is a life skill after all.

1/10 isn’t bad! The oldest loves her swimming teacher. Viola! I am killing the summer bucket list right now! It is too stressful. Because I am not working as much, there is little disposable money to throw around for trips, camps and theme parks. This is hubby’s busy work time, so I solo parent frequently.

Honestly, the kids are young only once. It is possible to plan too much. We all love waking up without alarms, spending time in our pjs and go wherever the sunbeams take us.

Did you fill a wish list of what to do this summer? How is it going?